I apologize for the graphics but these last couple of weeks I have met with several young people who are cutters! A cutter in my view is someone who struggles with day to day living and uses it to relieve stress. I've been told that the self-harm (1) allows them to feel something, or (2) allows them to visualize how they feel!
More often than not their parents have no idea something is wrong. The picture on the left illustrates the point.
"What's wrong with you? Are you sick?"No. I'm fine. Just leave me alone!"
It's not until you peel back the layers and stick around and listen for an answer that you realize the person is in crisis! Take the time to find the answer to your question. Know anyone who always wears long sleeves and pants? Yes, they may just be cold natured or they may be hiding something.
There are estimates that 1 in 200 young people suffer from "self harm". This morning I was talking to a young man that at the age of 15 said he had no reason to live. "If this is the best that it's gonna get then tell me why would I want to live?"
There is no doubt that each of us struggles day to day; some worse than others. Look at what happened recently in Florida, Texas, Puerto Rico, etc. - these young people literally walk among us! Amidst the day to day 'stuff' these kids get further pushed aside. Don't wait to say when it's too late that, "I knew something was wrong. They were always such a loner!"
Take the time To look - To ask - and To listen!
TODAY, speak with your kids, and listen to their replies, to truly understand how they are doing ... and then encourage them to reach out to friends who appear to be struggling. I can guarantee you that each one of us either remembers someone, or knows someone, who just doesn't seem ok! Just take the time to reach out and let that person know you care.
One of the most precious memories I have of my step son involves a story told to us by a young lady after his funeral. She came by the house as she wanted to share with his Mom just how special Brent was to her. She openly admitted that she didn't always fit in as she isn't the prettiest, or the thinnest or even the coolest girl in school; but one day she was talking to Brent at her locker when his gang of friends showed up. Their greeting was along the lines of, 'Why are you talking to her? Come on let's go do something!'. Brent taught me a lesson that day when she told us of his reply: 'No. Ya'll go ahead. Can't you see I am talking to my friend!'
Every interaction you have with someone is important.
Set your standard higher than yourself and don't leave that person until you can walk away
with them being just a little bit better off than before ya'll met!
