Virginia's Juvenile Courts

What I'd like to do is over the next couple of weeks is to give an overview of the juvenile criminal process in Virginia's Juvenile and Domestic Relations District courts.  Through this process you'll come to better understand how they operate; how they are different from the General District Courts; and what to expect if 

and when you are required to appear before one.

So please, click the link to follow this blog and I promise that every 2-3 days we'll be posting something new and exciting - I know how important my time is and how my free time seems to shrink daily so we won't waste you time, I promise.

Trouble at the school bus stop, too many tardy's or even shoplifting can bring you to court.  Take the time to educate yourself and your kids!

CUTTING . . .

I apologize for the graphics but these last couple of weeks I have met with several young people who are cutters!  A cutter in my view is someone who struggles with day to day living and uses it to relieve stress.  I've been told that the self-harm (1) allows them to feel something, or (2) allows them to visualize how they feel!

More often than not their parents have no idea something is wrong.  The picture on the left illustrates the point.

"What's wrong with you?  Are you sick?

                "No.  I'm fine.  Just leave me alone!"

It's not until you peel back the layers and stick around and listen for an answer that you realize the person is in crisis!  Take the time to find the answer to your question.  Know anyone who always wears long sleeves and pants?  Yes, they may just be cold natured or they may be hiding something.

There are estimates that 1 in 200 young people suffer from "self harm".  This morning I was talking to a young man that at the age of 15 said he had no reason to live.  "If this is the best that it's gonna get then tell me why would I want to live?"

There is no doubt that each of us struggles day to day; some worse than others.  Look at what happened recently in Florida, Texas, Puerto Rico, etc. - these young people literally walk among us! Amidst the day to day 'stuff' these kids get further pushed aside.  Don't wait to say when it's too late that, "I knew something was wrong. They were always such a loner!"

Take the time To look - To ask - and To listen!  

TODAY, speak with your kids, and listen to their replies, to truly understand how they are doing ... and then encourage them to reach out to friends who appear to be struggling.  I can guarantee you that each one of us either remembers someone, or knows someone, who just doesn't seem ok!  Just take the time to reach out and let that person know you care.

One of the most precious memories I have of my step son involves a story told to us by a young lady after his funeral.  She came by the house as she wanted to share with his Mom just how special Brent was to her.  She openly admitted that she didn't always fit in as she isn't the prettiest, or the thinnest or even the coolest girl in school; but one day she was talking to Brent at her locker when his gang of friends showed up.  Their greeting was along the lines of, 'Why are you talking to her? Come on let's go do something!'. Brent taught me a lesson that day when she told us of his reply: 'No.  Ya'll go ahead.  Can't you see I am talking to my friend!'

Every interaction you have with someone is important.

Set your standard higher than yourself and don't leave that person until you can walk away

with them being just a little bit better off than before ya'll met!

  

It's the Kids that Matter!

In 1994 Virginia first codified its present scheme for custody and visitation for children. The Legislature at that time enacted Chapter 6.1 to Title 20 of the Code of Virginia. Today those Best Interest criteria are found in Section 124.3.

For all matters dealing with the custody and/or visitation of minor children these Best Interest considerations SHALL be addressed.

We've copied the first five considerations below:

"1. The age and physical and mental condition of the child, giving due consideration to the child's changing developmental needs;

2. The age and physical and mental condition of each parent;

3. The relationship existing between each parent and each child, giving due consideration to the positive involvement with the child's life, the ability to accurately assess and meet the emotional, intellectual and physical needs of the child;

4. The needs of the child, giving due consideration to other important relationships of the child, including but not limited to siblings, peers and extended family members;

5. The role that each parent has played and will play in the future, in the upbringing and care of the child;"

It should be abundantly clear that it is the BEST INTERESTS of the child(ren) that are considered - not the parents or grandparents!